I wonder if I have made the right decisions. It’s too late now. It is what it is but something inside me just won’t let go. Why? I don’t know. My mind has a life of its own and it’s not setting this one down. I wish I could, it would make the situation easier for you and I both. I don’t trust you and I can’t. Don’t look at me in disgust when I say this, you did it to yourself. Somedays, I don’t know whether or not I love you or hate you. You have built resentment so deep in my heart its impossible to ignore.
I could never hurt you like that. I don’t have the heart, or rather you’re the one absent of heart. What is wrong with you? If I could only answer this, maybe it would help me me to mend. All I can come up with is that youre thoughtless liar, a liar who promises on the very people closest to my heart. Why, why, why is it so hard for you to be honest with me? Is it because it would hurt me too much? If so, you have extended this damage by procrastinating the truth. I don’t know why you do this to yourself, you have absolutely no self control.
Most of all, I don’t understand how you could have done this to me. I have never, ever defied you. All I ask for is your respect, which I give to you in return, always. A part of me wishes to get revenge - to have you understand, for once, just how I feel. But I won’t because I am not you, I am better than you.
When it comes down to it, you have hurt yourself more than you will ever know. You have damaged the way I see you, the respect I have for you, and the way I love you. You have turned it into a game. A game where I have to constantly be aware and watch out for myself. It shouldn’t be like this, and it didn’t have to be but you chose the hard way.
You must have thought I would never find out. I always find out.
